Tag: marriage

Half a century

Gus.Lee

Last weekend, we attended a 50th wedding anniversary celebration for two of our church members. Derek did a renewal/reaffirmation of their vows (not sure about the correct terminology), we had a lovely meal, and the karaoke began. The whole night was great fun and a beautiful celebration of their life together, but more than that something became obvious that I’d never thought about before. Fifty years of marriage…what are you celebrating exactly? The fact that you didn’t kill each other, or divorce, or that you were able to tolerate each other? Is it the love, the trust, the faithfulness?

There’s probably some truth to each of these things, but watching Gus and Lee dance together, and then with their four children, and watching their grandkids all pool together to sing a Taylor Swift song at the karaoke machine, the boy cousins looking like brothers with their dark cropped heads and the girls laughing and giggling in embarrassment in identical long curly hair and cute short boots, I realized a celebration of that many years has moved beyond the romantic love of two people to include the beautiful family they’ve created, their friends who have come and gone, and memories good and bad of times they’ve celebrated and weathered together.

It’s more than love, it’s life. Having a life together, creating new life, living through good and bad, and that’s worth celebrating.

On the way home I told Derek I would look forward to our golden anniversary and could imagine our grown-up kids and hopefully some grandkids there with us. We figured out he would be 75 and I 72, two days from 73. Then he said, “Kate will be in her 40s.” And the whole lovely daydream poofed away as I giggled hysterically, because I simply cannot imagine my nine-year-old in her forties.

 

11 years and counting

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.


Happy 11th anniversary to my patient, kind, protecting, trusting, humble, hopeful, and always persevering husband. Love you.

Leaving the kids (a few morbid thoughts)

August is turning out to be a crrraaazzzy month.

I’m launching an ebook, updating the school website, home with the kids and/or getting them off to school, helping my dad raise funds so he can get back to Siberia and teach, organizing a youth conference, and–oh yes, I’m trying to squeeze some work in here or there, too.

But the big highlight of the month, or, really, the year, is that at the end of the month I head to Champagne, France for a week of traipsing through the vineyards, touring the cellars, and tasting the local wine and cuisine.

Yes, I’m excited. And if you ask me if I need a valet/hairdresser/assistant/whatever-your-day-job-is to ride along, the answer is no, unless you’re my husband. Because I really wish I could take him, but it’s a work trip.

“Work,” in the loosest sense, of course. When “work” consists of drinking Champagne.

I just wish it weren’t a whole week, because my stomach just flops when I think about leaving my kids for so long.


I know they’ll be fine. They’ll be more than fine. Their grandparents are coming, and they will have a blast with them. I’m supremely grateful to the grandparents for coming, and glad they’re staying a few days after so I’ll have a chance to visit them as well.

My mom pointed out that years later, I will remember this trip, but my children won’t remember my week away.

I know she’s right. But every time I go on a work trip, I look out the plane window and think, “I don’t want to die! My children need me.”

If something happened to me, I know my husband would do fine, eventually. He’d be devastated, but he would be ok. My kids, though…. I don’t want to sound like I have an overinflated sense of my own importance, but I’m their mom. Moms are necessary.

Before we had kids, I told my husband he could never remarry if something happened to me. Now I tell him he has to remarry, but only to someone who will love my children and be a mother to them. (Oh, and he should love her, too. But I don’t want him to fall in love with some Wicked Stepmother type.)

He just rolls his eyes and tells me to quit worrying so much.

And then I roll my eyes and tell him a mother never stops worrying about her kids.

But I’m still going to France. Oui.