The five stages of shopping grief

I went shopping for work clothes on Tuesday.

Because I own basically two types of outfits: church dresses and skirts, and workout clothes.

Not because I work out, but because I like to slouch around in workout clothes while I’m working.

You get the picture. You’re probably either jealous or appalled.

It’s been a good run. But now I have to arrive at a workplace, for awhile at least, in something presentable. And here’s how it went.

1. Denial: I can’t go shopping. I haven’t been clothes-shopping in ages. I don’t even know where the stores are.

2. Anger: These crappy weird eighties clothes cost how much?!?

3. Bargaining: Do these shirts make me look like a Target mom? I’ll make you cookies if you say no.

4. Depression: How come nothing fits me post-three-kids? Why did my boobs migrate to my hips?

5. Acceptance: Coming home with three bags of clothes, all of which Kate has approved.


  1. This was epic. If you were still doing your writing gig I’d tell you to shop this one around. It is so true. I went last night to find something for Texas that a.) doesn’t have holes in the knees or b.) stains on the front and I can totally relate. I, however, did NOT come home with three bags of clothes. 

  2. Even though I’m not in the market for work clothes, I completely relate to the above stages, with the exception of 5.  I’ve deciced I don’t know how to shop any more.  I’d be in real trouble if I did have to look work ready!  Glad you found some stuff.  Maybe you can write a fashion post for the rest of us frumpy mamas!

  3. The three bags was a fluke. I got a few shirts, some tights/leggings, a new purse because my $1 thrift store purse’s handles were cracking off, two dresses (one on clearance!) and a sweater. Considering how horrible the trip was, I was elated to come home with so much! And now I should be good for, oh, the next five years or so. 

  4. Oh my!   This is making me laugh. I have the exact same problem.  On my 39th birthday I bought my first pair of skinny jeans and it was the strangest feeling.  I couldn’t find much else either.  Maybe a fashion lesson is in order for our trip!